Gabe's Newest

Gabe has been very busy with some activities over the past few months. He has done not only Field of Angels softball, but also Fall AYSO VIP Soccer, and now, Idaho Falls Wrestling Club. Field of Angels and Soccer are over and everyone at soccer told me he was a natural. Wrestling--well he likes to tackle dad and Stephen, but attend during wrestling practice? Way outa there!!! It is finally dawning on me that he will need more structure and support than wrestling currently offers, but I am hopeful we can give it to him and he can at least come to practices. He was ill for the first match last Saturday, so we didn't even sign him up. What does this week hold? Well, tomorrow is Halloween, and Buzz Lightyear is not quite ready to trick-or-treat. He is still sick and will probably not go to school tomorrow for the kindergarten Halloween program. Aw shucks!! Here are some photos I may not have shared before.

What a Sabbath Day!!

Today was our yearly children's sacrament meeting program, and what a day it was. The kids sang well and behaved amazingly well. Gabe--well, Gabe is Gabe. He was all over the place, but he was more manageable than usual. Another teacher took him over for me and was able to get some reasonably good behavior out of him. He said his part and climbed around the rostrum behind the bishopric during the program. He also sat on this elderly teacher's lap for quite awhile. We had several people spotting for us, but no one had full control of Gabe. He was his own little man!!

At times like this I am so very thankful for people who are so willing to assist. If we knew what to do to solve the problem, we would certainly do that. So far, even with consultation from his therapists and teachers at school and elsewhere, we just haven't solved the church problem.

After the main meeting, Gabe went to Primary class with the other children. He was worse than usual, however, for the rest of the meeting schedule.

He has become milder and more compliant lately, but has gone backward in some other areas.

And isn't that the way it always is?! A few steps forward and one or two backward.

I have felt so lost so many times, but I just keep working on new ways to help him calm himself. They didn't work today, but maybe next time.

What was it Churchill said? "Never give up! Never give up! Never give up!" Well, we don't ever give up on our son. We are thankful for him and the fun he brings into our family!!! I thank the Lord each day that we were able to bring Gabriel into our family before he got older.

Although I often find it saddening to think about how all this had to come about, I also think of the energy and sweetness he has brought into our world here. Not that Claudia and I have more energy because of him--far from it. It is more like the other way around--less energy to spare since he has come to live with us.

I often wonder what might happen one day after he grows to adulthood. What will he be like?

We hope for the best and pray. We pray as though everything depended upon the Lord. Then we go to work as if everything depended upon us.

And what does Gabriel do? He just goes right along doing his own stuff and learning how to be a better kids.

Academically, he takes after his mother. He just took the state reading test and got a 3 - higher than most kindergartners. I watched him work in class this past week, and was amazed at how engaged he was for the new student teacher. And his latest psych eval lasted a whole 3 hours total--a lot longer than the 20 minutes for his first such assessment--just over a year ago.

Sometimes I just want to take his pain away--Oh, how I feel pain over the challenges in his life!! Yet, I know that he will learn something from all of this--something that just could make him stronger and happier. For in the midst of all that we experience in this life, the only way we discover what makes us happy is by experiencing what is sad. If we never knew sadness, we could never know happiness.

My hopes are that Gabe will become happy because he has been sad--that he will learn to trust because he learned what it is like to not have anyone to trust--that he will learn to love more and more because he has somehow missed the love and nurture he has needed. If I have anything to do with the outcomes here, I will do my best to restore to Gabe as much of normalcy and nurturing as I can--as much of responsibility and success as I know how--as much forgiving as he needs to feel to forgive all others.

Gabe the Babe!!

We finally had to go get some new clothing for Gabriel. He just doesn't have very many things that fit him anymore. Going shopping with Gabriel, however, is not at all like going shopping with a "normal" kid. It is more like taking a combination of a monkey, a donkey or mule, and a bull with you to a china shop. The result can be catastrophic if you aren't sufficiently grounded in your purpose and your determination (and if you don't hold his hand constantly). From running back and forth through the store, to refusing to cooperate, to yelling and screaming, to grabbing items off the shelves and doing who-knows-what with them, to opening the fitting room without knowing what or who is on the other side of that door--a shopping trip with Gabriel is never boring!!!

This morning, however, the success of our shopping created a new-looking little guy with bright new black dress shoes and pants. Of course, by the time the day was over, things weren't quite as shiny and clean as when we started out. But you should have seen and heard him sing with all his heart in Primary!! He is finally beginning to show interest in singing and playing with others and being part of a group. It is great to see the changes.

Something I think is quite amazing: Every Sunday after Sacrament Meeting, Gabriel heads for the building library as fast as his little legs can go (and they CAN go). He goes right in--not shy at all--grabs a set of scriptures or talks a librarian into giving him one, then heads for the Children's Meeting Room, where the main Primary is held. He has to have scriptures in his hands or he is not happy going to Primary.

The one thing I wish he would change, though, is this: I sincerely wish he would sit down some time during the meeting so I can take just a tiny relaxing breath.

He knows we love him and we do kiss and hug attacks all the time. He does them back, too!! Then there are the times when we re-infant him by feeding him at the table or cradling him in our arms like a baby. Besides being our only six-year old son, he is also our little baby boy.

What a fun little one we have in our home. We just love him a lot!!

Sometimes I think about Grandma and Grandpa Hoffman, my dad, Hazel, and my mom and Lin. I hope they are looking down on us and seeing a beautiful little boy and sending their love his way!! I am certain that if they were all here, they would love him with all their hearts!!