Dear Family and Friends,

This past year has been an adventure for the Clyde and Claudia Tigner family.

Many of you know that Carolyn lives with us and is estranged from her husband Samuel Shaffer. Samuel lives in the Salt Lake City area with a buddy and Carolyn and Sam’s two little daughters. Samantha is now 3 years old and Lilly is now 5. Sam is having a friend provide pre-school for both of the girls. The friend lives in Spanish Fork, so Sam stays in that area for the week while the girls attend school. We are very excited about that!

Carolyn is doing well here at our home, and is always finding employment. She has not earned enough to support herself and her two children, so they remain with their dad most of the time. We love our daughter and are happy to see her becoming more socially “alive” and active again.

Stephen still lives nearby. He still gets most of his mail at our address, and we see him frequently. Especially during the Thanksgiving and Christmas seasons, Stephen has packages delivered here almost every day, starting with Black Friday. Stephen lives alone in a three-bedroom townhouse and is happy that way at the moment. He takes Taiko drumming lessons and plays with a Taiko drumming group in town. When we can we go to their performances.

Gabe has grown a lot this past year – in many ways. We are having to get him back into soccer to help provide him with lots of acivity. He has been in an enormous physical growth spurt, but we are expecting him to shoot up even more in the next two years and into his adolescence. Gabe is still a Dubach, and since we have had him, we have not taken him back to Sacramento for a visit with the Dubachs and other family members who live there. The phone is our contact with our Sacramento family.

My younger brother, John, lives in West Virginia with his spouse. They are in Berkeley Springs, a tiny resort community, formerly known as Bath. These names denote the existence of hot springs that are popular with tourists and locals. John and his wife love West Virginia but sometimes would rather be closer to family out west here. John’s son, Mike, is married and lives in the Sacramento area, where the rest of my own extended family members live. He likes being near his favorite cousin, Ruth, one of Mary’s daughters.

Thanksgiving 2015 was celebrated with a wonderful and traditional family feast. We had plenty of turkey, some very rich and delicious gluten-free dressing, a relish tray with petite dill pickles, carrots, celery and olives. We had both sweet and mashed potatoes, with turkey gravy, and we also had some delicious rolls. We all overate and lost our energy - Gabriel excepted. We also had both apple and pumpkin pies with whipped topping and ice cream – 1 of each pie was enough for us.

We have been richly blessed this year and are very grateful for the tender mercies of the Lord, Jesus Christ. Clyde’s work with mentally disabled children came to an end as he resigned from his former job, and into his lap fell an invitation to apply to be a case management contractor for the State Department of Health and Welfare. Clyde is working only half-time, but he is keeping plenty busy. This provides some coverage for times when Claudia is not home to manage Gabe. Because of Clyde’s new job, Claudia has cut her hours so that she can be with Gabe more. We also have extra services for Gabe now, and are very appreciative of that.

We want to wish all of you a very happy Christmas and New Year. May the Lord be with you and strengthen and comfort you always. Please remember you are all always in our prayers.

The Tigners and a Dubach (not yet adopted)

Wow. Has it been so long since I made an entry here?! Over a year has passed. I haven't made any entries anywhere, really - not even on facebook. Well - maybe a few there. If there were only more following me on this page, I would make more entries here. I continue to be amazed at the way my current job as a contractor for the State of Idaho Department of Health and Welfare just fell into my lap. How could this be? The Lord was watching over me and my family - that is the only answer. I thank my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ for their tender mercies toward me.

I have been struggling to find my place in this world. What would the Lord have me do? What is His purpose for me?

Raising Gabriel is surely one of his tasks for me at this time. My question is, "How far should I go, Lord?" What is my purpose as a case manager for the Department? Who will I share the Lord's love with? How can I be an instrument in His hands, and to what purpose? I now am beginning to realize how much my life and focus have been about me. One of my wise nephews made that statement one day, "It's about you." I found myself protesting that it is not. It is about the baby we just blessed, said I.

Then, over the next few months I began to wonder how much of what I thought, felt, said, and did was really all about myself. I continue to  wonder about all of this. Working with kids with developmental and mental disabilities has brought me to the point of a realization that I am, at least to some extent, and always have  been, so much like these young people. Surely I have always been at least close to the autism spectrum, if not in it.

And yet I have succeeded with much my life. I was the first child in my nuclear family to graduate from high school. I was the first child to be married in the temple of God for time and all eternity. In between these two things is a negative - I never got the courage to serve a mission. I was never ready when I was of the right age chronologically. There were people willing to support me on my mission, and I did not go. I had this fear of people and that, along with many weaknesses, got in my way.

Claudia and I served a stake mission later in my life. But how can that compare with a full-time mission? It simply cannot.

But dwelling on what appears to me to be a failure will not help me find my purpose. I have found some purposes - I play the piano and organ in church from time to time, as assigned. I played for high priest quorum meeting just last Sunday at the Stake Center, for example. And every other month I play the organ for our ward Sacrament Meetings. I have been blessed several times in my life to serve as a boy scout leader and cub scout leader. I have worked with all ages of Scouts over the years. I have worked as a therapist with boys who have developmental disabilities. I was, when I was 18, president of a stake young adult group. I have taught Sunday School, Priesthood, Young Men, Primary (nursery to age 12). I have worked with boys who have mental disorders. I have worked with adults who have mental disorders. Sometimes I have been successful and sometimes not so successful.

Every time I have been let go from a job, I have found happiness in another opportunity to work and serve others. Imagine getting paid for that!

I always find myself marveling at the importance of the family in other people's lives. I felt this when I was away in the U.S. Army for three years. Now I seem to struggle to be in concert with those whose families are so important for them. Intellectually I know they are. Yet, why do I not share those feelings that so many feel about their families?

If only I understood what more I can do in my life.

A scripture tells us, "This life is the time to prepare to meet God. Yea, behold, the day of this life is the day for men to perform their labors." Alma 34:32 Book of Mormon

I want to prepare to meet God by living my life in accordance with His wishes. What more can I say. May it be so.