Dear Family and Friends,

This past year has been an adventure for the Clyde and Claudia Tigner family.

Many of you know that Carolyn lives with us and is estranged from her husband Samuel Shaffer. Samuel lives in the Salt Lake City area with a buddy and Carolyn and Sam’s two little daughters. Samantha is now 3 years old and Lilly is now 5. Sam is having a friend provide pre-school for both of the girls. The friend lives in Spanish Fork, so Sam stays in that area for the week while the girls attend school. We are very excited about that!

Carolyn is doing well here at our home, and is always finding employment. She has not earned enough to support herself and her two children, so they remain with their dad most of the time. We love our daughter and are happy to see her becoming more socially “alive” and active again.

Stephen still lives nearby. He still gets most of his mail at our address, and we see him frequently. Especially during the Thanksgiving and Christmas seasons, Stephen has packages delivered here almost every day, starting with Black Friday. Stephen lives alone in a three-bedroom townhouse and is happy that way at the moment. He takes Taiko drumming lessons and plays with a Taiko drumming group in town. When we can we go to their performances.

Gabe has grown a lot this past year – in many ways. We are having to get him back into soccer to help provide him with lots of acivity. He has been in an enormous physical growth spurt, but we are expecting him to shoot up even more in the next two years and into his adolescence. Gabe is still a Dubach, and since we have had him, we have not taken him back to Sacramento for a visit with the Dubachs and other family members who live there. The phone is our contact with our Sacramento family.

My younger brother, John, lives in West Virginia with his spouse. They are in Berkeley Springs, a tiny resort community, formerly known as Bath. These names denote the existence of hot springs that are popular with tourists and locals. John and his wife love West Virginia but sometimes would rather be closer to family out west here. John’s son, Mike, is married and lives in the Sacramento area, where the rest of my own extended family members live. He likes being near his favorite cousin, Ruth, one of Mary’s daughters.

Thanksgiving 2015 was celebrated with a wonderful and traditional family feast. We had plenty of turkey, some very rich and delicious gluten-free dressing, a relish tray with petite dill pickles, carrots, celery and olives. We had both sweet and mashed potatoes, with turkey gravy, and we also had some delicious rolls. We all overate and lost our energy - Gabriel excepted. We also had both apple and pumpkin pies with whipped topping and ice cream – 1 of each pie was enough for us.

We have been richly blessed this year and are very grateful for the tender mercies of the Lord, Jesus Christ. Clyde’s work with mentally disabled children came to an end as he resigned from his former job, and into his lap fell an invitation to apply to be a case management contractor for the State Department of Health and Welfare. Clyde is working only half-time, but he is keeping plenty busy. This provides some coverage for times when Claudia is not home to manage Gabe. Because of Clyde’s new job, Claudia has cut her hours so that she can be with Gabe more. We also have extra services for Gabe now, and are very appreciative of that.

We want to wish all of you a very happy Christmas and New Year. May the Lord be with you and strengthen and comfort you always. Please remember you are all always in our prayers.

The Tigners and a Dubach (not yet adopted)

Wow. Has it been so long since I made an entry here?! Over a year has passed. I haven't made any entries anywhere, really - not even on facebook. Well - maybe a few there. If there were only more following me on this page, I would make more entries here. I continue to be amazed at the way my current job as a contractor for the State of Idaho Department of Health and Welfare just fell into my lap. How could this be? The Lord was watching over me and my family - that is the only answer. I thank my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ for their tender mercies toward me.

I have been struggling to find my place in this world. What would the Lord have me do? What is His purpose for me?

Raising Gabriel is surely one of his tasks for me at this time. My question is, "How far should I go, Lord?" What is my purpose as a case manager for the Department? Who will I share the Lord's love with? How can I be an instrument in His hands, and to what purpose? I now am beginning to realize how much my life and focus have been about me. One of my wise nephews made that statement one day, "It's about you." I found myself protesting that it is not. It is about the baby we just blessed, said I.

Then, over the next few months I began to wonder how much of what I thought, felt, said, and did was really all about myself. I continue to  wonder about all of this. Working with kids with developmental and mental disabilities has brought me to the point of a realization that I am, at least to some extent, and always have  been, so much like these young people. Surely I have always been at least close to the autism spectrum, if not in it.

And yet I have succeeded with much my life. I was the first child in my nuclear family to graduate from high school. I was the first child to be married in the temple of God for time and all eternity. In between these two things is a negative - I never got the courage to serve a mission. I was never ready when I was of the right age chronologically. There were people willing to support me on my mission, and I did not go. I had this fear of people and that, along with many weaknesses, got in my way.

Claudia and I served a stake mission later in my life. But how can that compare with a full-time mission? It simply cannot.

But dwelling on what appears to me to be a failure will not help me find my purpose. I have found some purposes - I play the piano and organ in church from time to time, as assigned. I played for high priest quorum meeting just last Sunday at the Stake Center, for example. And every other month I play the organ for our ward Sacrament Meetings. I have been blessed several times in my life to serve as a boy scout leader and cub scout leader. I have worked with all ages of Scouts over the years. I have worked as a therapist with boys who have developmental disabilities. I was, when I was 18, president of a stake young adult group. I have taught Sunday School, Priesthood, Young Men, Primary (nursery to age 12). I have worked with boys who have mental disorders. I have worked with adults who have mental disorders. Sometimes I have been successful and sometimes not so successful.

Every time I have been let go from a job, I have found happiness in another opportunity to work and serve others. Imagine getting paid for that!

I always find myself marveling at the importance of the family in other people's lives. I felt this when I was away in the U.S. Army for three years. Now I seem to struggle to be in concert with those whose families are so important for them. Intellectually I know they are. Yet, why do I not share those feelings that so many feel about their families?

If only I understood what more I can do in my life.

A scripture tells us, "This life is the time to prepare to meet God. Yea, behold, the day of this life is the day for men to perform their labors." Alma 34:32 Book of Mormon

I want to prepare to meet God by living my life in accordance with His wishes. What more can I say. May it be so. 

Since there is rarely anyone following me on my blog, the Clyde Tigner and Family facebook page  may become my new blog for our family members and friends. 

With the arrival of Carolyn's two daughters into our home at the end of June, we have been exceptionally busy trying to get along around here and manage our family's activities better. While this may seem simple to some, it has become very difficult at times. With Gabriel around, we are certainly not ever bored!

We were pleasantly blessed with a visit from Faye, Karen, Sonny, and Kaylee from Sacramento at the beginning of July. While we could not provide them with enough activities because of our work schedules, we enjoyed their company while they were here. We went to Yellowstone, Big Judd's, and Reed's Dairy and Sonny enjoyed the Tautphus Park skateboard park. I took Karen to Love at First Bite and everyone to Great Harvest Bread.

We couldn't change the hot weather and the kids were getting bored and wanting to go back home to Sacramento, so they left about two days early.

We hope the next time they come, our home will be less crowded. I honestly don't know how anyone  can stand living or staying in a home of this size containing 11 or more people, and with the situation we presently have can stand it for very long at all. But we were hoping they would stay for the full amount of time they had allotted.

I was sad to see them leave us early, but glad to have them with us. We had more exciting things planned, but we just couldn't make it happen this time.

On a positive note, both of my eyes had cataracts removed and toric lenses implanted prior to July, and I now am driving around, for the first time in my life, without glasses - legally!

Unfortunately we are trying to figure out what to do about some new glasses. I have worn glasses since I was 6 years of age. Now here I am always feeling like something is missing and wanting to put on glasses before I go out. But the price of new glasses is still very high - even with what Medicare allows - which is not very much, of course. 

Well, I will see how this works out and whether I have better vision coverage than I had thought. We will go from there and hope I can get comfortable again. The thought of having to carry around reading glasses is scary - especially since I never could carry sunglasses around to attache to my glasses. I would always lose them in short order.

Claudia and I are both working. At this point in time Claudia is making more money than I am and working more hours to do that. We are both professional therapists, and she is definitely very good with what she does with kids with developmental disabilities.

Well, everyone please take care of yourselves and remember to find us on our facebook page: Clyde Tigner and Family

Christmas 2013 at Our House

Christmas has passed and we are still enjoying the holidays. All of our children are at home again. Stephen bought us a thin-screen TV - the first we have ever had, and I didn't even help them unwrap it on Christmas Day. Much of the day Stephen devoted his time top unpackaging the set and setting it up with all the features he could add, including something called ROKU. The rest of the day was spent enjoying the new TV and all its features, for Stephen also connected a brand new XBOX 360 to it, and video games were running for hours.

The house was so busy, and I was so tired from staying up until nearly 4 a.m. making fruitcake. I took a very long Christmas nap during the morning while everyone else was preparing the Christmas meal. I just disappeared into my office/bedroom and collapsed into my bed.  After we had eaten dinner, I watched Christmas videos and read the news much of the rest of the day. I worked into the night clearing out our receipts file and removing most of the mess from the top of my little credenza and the small table beside it.

Today I again ate leftovers, some turkey soup Claudia had just made, and watched Gabriel while Carolyn worked downstairs. Gabriel got to play some video games for the 15 minutes he had earned, I took another nap, he got into mischief, he got to watch much TV while I worked on getting my cell phone access back. I called for support and a gentleman finally had me just do a factory reset. The rest of the day I worked on restoring as much data as possible from whatever source it might have been backed up to, and re-installing apps I had lost with the reset. This process will continue, I am certain, for more than a day beyond today.

Christmas was without a Christmas tree or a nativity scene displayed this year. I had hurt my lower back a little from moving my room from downstairs to upstairs this past week, and did not feel like climbing up to the attic to get the decorations down for Christmas. Stephen was in a "Scrooge Mood" with regard to getting it down, Claudia couldn't climb up and get it, and neither could Carolyn, I presume. Nobody else seemed to care about the tree and decs. Gabriel had brought a little decoration home from his Speech teacher. They made it together during their last session. It was hanging over the front picture window. On the window sill was an electronic stable of animals that all made their animal sounds to the tunes and rhythms of familiar Christmas carols. We still had Christmas, in spite of the Grinch's attempts for we just piled the wrapped gifts onto the window sill of our front room, and onto the floor. When we passed out gifts, Gabriel was just as excited as ever, and it was just as fun as if a tree had been there. I still read the Christmas story from the Bible to Gabe and all who would listen on Christmas Eve.

I cannot but be thankful for everything I have and have enjoyed this season - the recent loss or misplacement of my Nook Plus tablet notwithstanding. I am sad-hearted because of Carolyn's ordeals of the past few months, but we have high hopes that somehow everything will work out for her to have her children back with her. I watched more than one performance of The Messiah, and the 1951 version of Scrooge on YouTube, and watched many presentations on my computer, posting much to my facebook page. My lower back is continuing to improve.

I suppose I am ready to work my way to the New Year's Day celebration at this point. With a small amount of preparation, we all should be able to enjoy that in good spirits. Even Claudia, the New Year's Eve Scroojette, is planning to stay up and celebrate the new year, as Stephen's friend, Nicole, is planning on coming over for it.

Christmas and New Year's Eve and Day still happen whether we celebrate them or not, and we are calmly celebrating our own peace on earth. Everyone have a wonderful New Year!!!

2013-14 Christmas and New Year Greetings!!!

From the Clyde and Claudia Tigner Family

This has been an amazing year for all of us. Carolyn has been to our home for visits several times this year, and we have enjoyed having our two lovely granddaughters around. Carolyn is now living with us for a short while. She is so sweet to us and a great helper around the house. Stephen secured a professional coding position – something he had wanted for a long while. He loves his new job. He continues to live with Mom and Dad and is fun and loving and enjoyable to have around. And since our LDS Ward is changing to 9 am this next year, he and a friend, whom he goes to church with, will be going to church with us. Gabriel has been learning and growing. He had his 8^th birthday in July and was baptized in August. Now that he is 8, he is also in Cub Scouts (The LDS church doesn’t do Tiger Cubs). He has been on soccer teams for the past two years, and has enjoyed playing that game – an active game for an active and cheerful boy. Claudia and I love all of our children, and enjoy each of their unique personalities in a special way.

Claudia has been in both good and poor health, and is presently doing well. Clyde has also been in good health. Both of us are still working professionally with children who have disabilities. Claudia concentrates on children with developmental disabilities and no longer works in the schools. Clyde now devotes his work time totally to children and adults with mental disabilities.

We had our 35^th wedding anniversary last September, and are still enjoying each other’s company after all these years. All in all we are happy and optimistic about our futures. We are thankful for the blessings the Lord has given us

We hope all of you are optimistic about your futures as well, and that you all have a very Joyous Celebration of the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ, as well as a very Happy and Prosperous New  Year!!

HE IS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON!!

Support for Kids: The Dark Matter of Love Documentary

Fall 2013 - Apricots, Peaches, Plums, Apples, and more Apples and Other Stuff

I was just checking to see when the last time was that I posted to this blog. It was December of last year (2012)! I am busy, but not that busy. Unfortunately, this blog has not worked as well as I would have liked. I wanted Claudia to post to it, as well, and that never happened. In the meantime, I have found myself at the computer trying to catch up with everything else - the news, three types of Solitaire games, emails, family finances, and facebook. Most of what I have posted has been on facebook. This blog, as well as my two other blogs, have had very few, if any, posts.

A few minutes ago I though of something I wanted to post about, and now it is gone from my mind. Distractions are plentiful this week. Gabe is home from school because his school is moving to a new building.

All the same, I may as well post about Fall 2013, and our activities.

This has been the year of Carolyn and her two girls. We have had more visits from Carolyn and her two little ones this year than in any other year since she was married in January 2007. Carolyn came in April for a few days, then again in May for a few days, then the same from the middle of June until the end of July. Each time she had her two daughters with her. Through a series of unexpected events she is presently staying with us without her daughters.

Where is Sam, her husband? Where are the kids? Sam is down in Utah, caring for the kids and staying with his buddy and his parents - going back and forth between the two locations. We don't know where his friend lives in Salt Lake City, but we have been to visit with him at his parents' home in Provo, Utah.

Carolyn has been staying with us temporarily until their little family can get better settled. This economy is very rough on some of us.

Carolyn has been helping us around the house a lot and is very fun to have here - especially during canning season. She has helped much with the canning.

Claudia decided to not do any school contracts this school year, so she has been able to get some time for canning, freezing, and drying fruit. She has succeeded and we are once again filling our cupboards with healthy home-preserved items. We are thankful that our apple tree produced some apples for us this year. They are delicious! Claudia does work with clients in the afternoons and evenings - part-time.

We began with a few scattered apricots on our sweet-pit apricot tree (not enough to preserve any). Next came cherries, then some peaches and pears, then plums (from a friend's tree), and lately, apples from our tree in the back yard.

We now have many very delicious fruit items to eat over the next several months.

Gabriel has been growing more and more each day. He has been doing very well in school and at church, and his behaviors are improving much. Gabe has also been helping us a lot with the canning and preserving!! He loves to help and do grown-up things with the grown-ups. We are thankful to have him in our home.

Stephen now has a well-paying coding and tech job in town and has just about payed off  his school loans. He wants to go back to Japan again and explore some more.

Clyde has been reduced to no clients at all, and is currently working with two clients and has a possibility of working with two more soon.

Having had some unexpected expenses eat up more than our budget for several months, we now have hope of an improvement in our income.

Halloween is coming up tomorrow night and we still need to decorate for the occasion. I will be working with my client, and a friend will be taking Gabe around for trick-or-treat.

This Halloween we are once again aware that there are now two Halloweens for us, and we need to buy twice the candy. At the church we have already had our safe Trunk-or-Treat. It was last Saturday, at 2 p.m. and we also had donuts and hot chocolate, as we usually do. That consumed one large bag of candy as children, costumes and all, from our neighborhood came around to each of us at our cars in the church parking lot and gathered their treats. Since Claudia would only allow me one big bag of candy, I watched carefully to be certain no trick-or-treater came twice. We ran out of candy just as a new bunch of kids came to start their rounds. Gabe's neighborhood friends sat there on the sidewalk behind my car, sorting through their bags of candy. Gabe can't have chocolate, so he gave most of his chocolate to a friend. He then had no chocolate left, and I had hoped he had not eaten any. I may have hoped in vain. That evening I found the diarrhea evidence on the back of the toilet. He had exploded. He cleaned up the mess.

Carolyn made most of Gabe's costume by sewing together a large  piece of material that would work as a cape. I supplied the bandanna and Carolyn found a black strip of material to work as an eye patch.

In all that is happening in our lives at this time, we find ourselves thanking the Lord that we are all back together for a season. At the same time we know that life will go on, and that we won't be left behind.

Halloween Greetings to all!!

Happy Holidays to All!!

The Clyde and Claudia Tigner Family are having some happy times this holiday season. Gabriel, the most celebrated member, has been doing very well in school and has improved in all areas. He is really attaching well with everyone in the family. Stephen is now working IT at Center Partners, and enjoying that thoroughly. Claudia has, unfortunately, been diagnosed with Lupus, and has two forms of arthritis. And even though she feels she is falling apart, she is still excited about life. She is now a state certified professional Habilitative Interventionist for kids with developmental disabilities. She is also still working as a Developmental Therapy Tech in the schools. We don't know how she does all of this, but we do know that she is very, very tired every single night. The rest of us are working on taking up any of the slack that we can. Claudia is also very happy to be the only one in our immediate family to have spent a few days with our newest granddaughter, Samantha. Sam and Carolyn now have two daughters and are living in Provo, near Sam's parents. Clyde is still retired, and is working part-time as a Psychosocial Rehabilitation Worker with kids who have mental/emotional disabilities. Clyde is also looking for other opportunities to do more to earn money for the family. With early PERSI retirement and early Social Security coming in we are always struggling for our quality of life. On January 1, Clyde has to go Medicare. Luckily we were able to work out something for both Clyde and Claudia, so that our medical insurance with the school district will continue to cover Claudia until she is 65.

With all of this going on, we are still finding plenty of joy in serving others. Claudia has recently been called to be the Webelos Den Leader, and Clyde has been called to be her assistant. Our unit has only about 5 boys between the ages of 8 and 10, and is in the process of combining with another unit nearby. Claudia and Clyde will become the main Webelos Leaders between the two units. That means we will have about 9 boys instead of two!

We still have many family names to take to the temple, thanks to Clyde's brother, John. At the moment, however, Clyde is working hard to achieve his objective of 1,000 names indexed on Family Search Indexing before December 31.

We wish all of our friends, acquaintances, and family a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!! May the Lord bless all of you!!!

Catching You Up

Reboot!!!

An old post never published?

I have now been down for several months - Uh, with regard to this blog. I have been both busy and tired. July 22 our daughter, Carolyn, had another baby girl. She was 7 lbs. 6 oz. according to my spouse, Claudia, who left July 21 to be with Carolyn for the C-section.

In addition, we had a change in bishopric for our ward. Bishop Nukaya and his counselors were released and Jerry Tomlinson was sustained, with his new counselors, as our new bishop. 

July 22 was an eventful day, and I have continued my soul-searching to determine where I am spiritually and where I may need to go with regard to that part of my life.

My spirituality has always been the main focus in my life - and I have begun to believe that I have been losing  some of that over the past two or three years.

July 21 was both Stephen's (33) and Gabriel's (7) birthdays. We had some cake and ice cream and Gabriel got some presents. I don't think we gave Stephen anything, and we need to correct that omission. But he did abandon us for a party with his buddies for the evening.

Visiting with us for two weeks before the baby was born were two of my nieces, Karen and Mariah. We were glad to have had them with us.

Semi-Retired? Hah!!

Sometimes retirement for a "grand_____" raising a "grand______" can be more like having a new profession - very stressful. This is especially true when the little one has a plethora of therapy appointments and activities. I may be home much of the day, but between running errands and supporting Gabe's needs, and working part-time in a professional position it sure doesn't feel like it! It wouldn't be so bad, but the State of Idaho has added a new level of bureaucracy for getting transportation. What this means is a parent is just out of luck when it comes to a last minute logistical hitch - unless they have the money to pay for a cab. Most do not, to be sure. It takes more than a week for transportation to be set up for just one appointment per week. A.M.R. in Idaho has cut down on the transportation budget for people with disabilities by making it so difficult to get transportation that many have probably just given up on their kids' or clients' services due to lack of A.M.R.'s interest in their needs. I still have not heard what A.M.R. is being paid by the state for distressing the poor and disabled. Idaho now has the distinction of not only cutting their teachers' pay and classroom supply money to pay for student laptops, but also of balancing the state budget on the backs of the penniless and infirm.

This is not new for Idaho, of course. Shortening the hours of intensive therapy available to children 7 years and older to 6 or less hours per  week from 22 hours per week, and to 12 hours per week from 22 hours per week for younger kids, has also balanced the State Health and Welfare budget on the backs of their clients. Well, what do we expect? Less government is what the majority voted for, and less government is what they are getting - including some mentally ill people who are dangerous being let out on the streets to injure and kill - all in the name of cutting spending. How many of us would like to have a family member killed or killing others because the State did not have enough money to treat someone or to at least keep someone dangerous off the streets?

On our family's side of things, I have found myself becoming very confused over Gabe's appointments and transportation at times, and it would have been a lot easier if I could have called the transportation company directly, like we used to do. The other day one of my own clients had their service coordinator call me and request I switch my appointment with that client to another day. This was because of a new appointment conflict within the family. I immediately told the lady that we could switch to another day. No problem, I said. Ah - yes. Ahem. And after I hung up the phone I realized the implications of all this. I would now have to take Gabe to his appointment on that day, and I would have to find someone to take him on the other day each week while I worked with my client.

It was a busy day and as I drove around from place to place I found myself calling A.M.R. to have them change Gabe's transportation to the specified day. What I forgot was that there was no way I would be able to change his appointment to that other day. It seemed so simple, too. Well, eventually I called A.M.R. (they are in Boise, not in town here), and completely cancelled all transportation for Gabe. I  also called our friend who said she would baby sit him for us on the other day. She insists on picking him up at school and not having tax payer money do that. And she now has him two days a week.

I never realized what it was going to be like to be a Mr. Mom and manage all of this. My respect for our nation's mothers has grown immensely over the past few months, and especially with this last episode. How they do all of this I may never know. I just know it is stressful and complex. It is about time I learned about all this. I am thinking that Claudia is getting a lot of laughs out of all this - at my expense. But that is okay. What are husbands and fathers for anyway, if not for getting at least some humor out of our feeble attempts to manage what our wives have done almost effortlessly for years!

Gmail - Four Tips for Soothing Sibling Rivalry - ctigner1@gmail.com

Gmail - Four Tips for Soothing Sibling Rivalry - ctigner1@gmail.com:

'via Blog this'

I received this article from Love and Logic.com

University of Utah and Google Team Up to Help Families with Children on the Autism Spectrum | University of Utah News

University of Utah and Google Team Up to Help Families with Children on the Autism Spectrum | University of Utah News:

'via Blog this'

I have posted this link on all of my blog sites. This may be important information for those of you who have children who are aspergers or autistic and very intelligent in certain subjects or areas.

Progress or Not Progress? That Is Always the Question!

Gabriel is always a mystery to me. When he came to us, he could barely talk and didn't seem to understand what we were saying to him much of the time. Now he talks my ear off. When we first got him, he was so much more difficult than he now is to get to bed. Thankfully my cousin Becky was there for us, and thankfully both Claudia and I had been trained to work with, and had a few years of experience with disabled children.

An important thing about challenging children is that they tend to take the proverbial two steps forward and one step back. When he started school this past fall, we thought we mostly had him potty-trained. Recently he has shown us otherwise! Of course he is a lot farther along on this than he was when we got him.

I continually find myself reading various books related to Gabriel and the kids I work with professionally. At the moment I probably have at least 5 or 6 of these in progress. I often use them as references for specific situations, bibliotherapy, and activity ideas. Then there are times when I need a review - often a very fast review!! I simply cannot gain new knowledge as fast as I think I need it! He appears to always be ahead of me!!

One thing is certain, though. He has found his way into our hearts and Claudia and I both love him very much and treasure those moments of sweetness he brings into our lives.

We are so thankful for Gabriel!

Happy New Year!!!

This year has been eventful for me - too eventful. But at the end of 2011 I find myself still celebrating with friends and family. I am happy 2011 is over and have hopes that 2012 will be great. The late Elder Marvin J. Ashton of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints made a never-ending impression on me years ago when he recommended that we stop expecting things to improve when we get around the corner or get across the fence to greener pastures, but enjoy the life we have in this moment.

My wish for all of us is that we quit looking for tomorrow to have an improved day and be thankful for what we have. Life is so sweet when we do this.

Happy New Year, everyone!!!

Claudia, Gabriel, Clyde - Christmas 2010

Clyde 2011

Gabriel Fall 2011

Samuel, Carolyn, Stephen & Gabe, Clyde, Claudia 2011

Lilly 2011

First an update on our growing family. Clyde is now retired from public education. It was, says he, a good time to retire. Claudia and Clyde are both still working with developmentally and mentally disabled children. Claudia is about to finish off some education and use her professional degree for a professional position in the company we both work for. Stephen is still at home and mostly stays to himself downstairs in his basement bedroom. He has been promoted at work and, though the pay is not at a professional level, he is enjoying more freedom to help customers at the call center. He still loves video games, Japanese anime, and is still looking for a coding position that fits his CS credentials. Carolyn and Sam and their one-year-old, Lilly, live just down the street in an apartment complex. We see Carolyn much more often than we see Samuel. And sometimes we get to see our granddaughter. A new development is that Carolyn is now pregnant again. Gabriel, our little six-year-old is still full of energy and can be a lot of fun. We love him a lot and are thankful for his growth both physically, mentally, and emotionally.


Christmas is truly a wonderful holiday season!! I have always loved Christmas - the lights, the trees, the ornaments, the decorations, the music, and Santa Claus. Every Christmas I am excited about what gifts I can give to others. This is strange when I really stop to think about it. From the time I was small Christmas was always all the above and, most importantly, the gifts I was going to receive.

Why and how has the emphasis on what everyone is giving to me gone away?

I am not certain what the answer is to this question. There could be several fitting responses. One might be that I am too old to care about what anyone is giving me. Another might cite the fact that I already have so much stuff that I can hardly manage what I already have. How about the suggestion that I am so focused on helping others that I do not have time to worry about what I am getting? Or how about the guilt that I feel every time I look at Christmas as a time to get more of the stuff I want, knowing, to be sure, that Christmas is about Christ and not about me or my stuff?

One thing is certain, something has changed in my life. It has happened slowly and deliberately, without any doubt, guided by the Lord, Jesus Christ, whose sacred priesthood I hold, and whom I strive to serve by serving others each day of my life.

At this time of the year, we celebrate his birth approximately 2,000 years ago in a far away town known as Bethlehem, where Joseph and Mary had traveled to pay taxes to a foreign ruler named Caesar Augustus. As an aside I find it interesting that even in antiquity the certainties of life were already birth, death, and taxes. At the same time I marvel that such a seemingly insignificant and humble beginning of life eventually led to both Jewish and Roman trials and the Roman crucifixion of Jesus of Nazareth. Why crucify the son of a carpenter for preaching principals of love and forgiveness? How could this person be important enough to merit such attention?

Eventually, after his death, Christ's apostles and disciples began spreading the good news throughout the known world. There was much persecution, but Christianity even became the state religion of the Roman Empire in about 330 A.D. Now Christianity exists in almost every part of the known world. It is the dominant religious faith in the Americas, in Europe, and in most of the former Soviet Union.

Unfortunately, the word "faith" used in the above context, refers mainly to organized Christianity, and not to how faithful its members are. For in the past century many of the teachings of the Savior have been tossed aside in favor of other interests by the general population of supposed Christians. Teachings on chastity and morality are, in particular, under the most challenge at this time, and instead of love of their fellow beings, people are siding against each other viciously and hatred seems rampant.

And yet I am so thankful for all my family and friends whom I know have exercised great faith in the Savior in doing their best to live his commandments and bring peace and joy into the lives of others. This is what He wants us to do - serve each other. His laws are laws of love.

One cannot be a true Christian without loving and serving others generously. The Lord has given us all that we have in this mortal existence, and he has commanded us to love and share and serve one another. Unless we do this, we are not His disciples or followers.

In the past year I have been through some trials. My faith has been greatly tested. My devotion to principles taught by Jesus Christ has been demanded. I have faltered and have found myself returning to succeed - returning to my senses, so to speak.

Christmas is about love and service and caring. I am so thankful to understand the very essence of Christmas. And I will do my best to always keep Christmas all the year around.


Claudia and I wish all of you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!

Gabe's Newest

Gabe has been very busy with some activities over the past few months. He has done not only Field of Angels softball, but also Fall AYSO VIP Soccer, and now, Idaho Falls Wrestling Club. Field of Angels and Soccer are over and everyone at soccer told me he was a natural. Wrestling--well he likes to tackle dad and Stephen, but attend during wrestling practice? Way outa there!!! It is finally dawning on me that he will need more structure and support than wrestling currently offers, but I am hopeful we can give it to him and he can at least come to practices. He was ill for the first match last Saturday, so we didn't even sign him up. What does this week hold? Well, tomorrow is Halloween, and Buzz Lightyear is not quite ready to trick-or-treat. He is still sick and will probably not go to school tomorrow for the kindergarten Halloween program. Aw shucks!! Here are some photos I may not have shared before.

What a Sabbath Day!!

Today was our yearly children's sacrament meeting program, and what a day it was. The kids sang well and behaved amazingly well. Gabe--well, Gabe is Gabe. He was all over the place, but he was more manageable than usual. Another teacher took him over for me and was able to get some reasonably good behavior out of him. He said his part and climbed around the rostrum behind the bishopric during the program. He also sat on this elderly teacher's lap for quite awhile. We had several people spotting for us, but no one had full control of Gabe. He was his own little man!!

At times like this I am so very thankful for people who are so willing to assist. If we knew what to do to solve the problem, we would certainly do that. So far, even with consultation from his therapists and teachers at school and elsewhere, we just haven't solved the church problem.

After the main meeting, Gabe went to Primary class with the other children. He was worse than usual, however, for the rest of the meeting schedule.

He has become milder and more compliant lately, but has gone backward in some other areas.

And isn't that the way it always is?! A few steps forward and one or two backward.

I have felt so lost so many times, but I just keep working on new ways to help him calm himself. They didn't work today, but maybe next time.

What was it Churchill said? "Never give up! Never give up! Never give up!" Well, we don't ever give up on our son. We are thankful for him and the fun he brings into our family!!! I thank the Lord each day that we were able to bring Gabriel into our family before he got older.

Although I often find it saddening to think about how all this had to come about, I also think of the energy and sweetness he has brought into our world here. Not that Claudia and I have more energy because of him--far from it. It is more like the other way around--less energy to spare since he has come to live with us.

I often wonder what might happen one day after he grows to adulthood. What will he be like?

We hope for the best and pray. We pray as though everything depended upon the Lord. Then we go to work as if everything depended upon us.

And what does Gabriel do? He just goes right along doing his own stuff and learning how to be a better kids.

Academically, he takes after his mother. He just took the state reading test and got a 3 - higher than most kindergartners. I watched him work in class this past week, and was amazed at how engaged he was for the new student teacher. And his latest psych eval lasted a whole 3 hours total--a lot longer than the 20 minutes for his first such assessment--just over a year ago.

Sometimes I just want to take his pain away--Oh, how I feel pain over the challenges in his life!! Yet, I know that he will learn something from all of this--something that just could make him stronger and happier. For in the midst of all that we experience in this life, the only way we discover what makes us happy is by experiencing what is sad. If we never knew sadness, we could never know happiness.

My hopes are that Gabe will become happy because he has been sad--that he will learn to trust because he learned what it is like to not have anyone to trust--that he will learn to love more and more because he has somehow missed the love and nurture he has needed. If I have anything to do with the outcomes here, I will do my best to restore to Gabe as much of normalcy and nurturing as I can--as much of responsibility and success as I know how--as much forgiving as he needs to feel to forgive all others.

Gabe the Babe!!

We finally had to go get some new clothing for Gabriel. He just doesn't have very many things that fit him anymore. Going shopping with Gabriel, however, is not at all like going shopping with a "normal" kid. It is more like taking a combination of a monkey, a donkey or mule, and a bull with you to a china shop. The result can be catastrophic if you aren't sufficiently grounded in your purpose and your determination (and if you don't hold his hand constantly). From running back and forth through the store, to refusing to cooperate, to yelling and screaming, to grabbing items off the shelves and doing who-knows-what with them, to opening the fitting room without knowing what or who is on the other side of that door--a shopping trip with Gabriel is never boring!!!

This morning, however, the success of our shopping created a new-looking little guy with bright new black dress shoes and pants. Of course, by the time the day was over, things weren't quite as shiny and clean as when we started out. But you should have seen and heard him sing with all his heart in Primary!! He is finally beginning to show interest in singing and playing with others and being part of a group. It is great to see the changes.

Something I think is quite amazing: Every Sunday after Sacrament Meeting, Gabriel heads for the building library as fast as his little legs can go (and they CAN go). He goes right in--not shy at all--grabs a set of scriptures or talks a librarian into giving him one, then heads for the Children's Meeting Room, where the main Primary is held. He has to have scriptures in his hands or he is not happy going to Primary.

The one thing I wish he would change, though, is this: I sincerely wish he would sit down some time during the meeting so I can take just a tiny relaxing breath.

He knows we love him and we do kiss and hug attacks all the time. He does them back, too!! Then there are the times when we re-infant him by feeding him at the table or cradling him in our arms like a baby. Besides being our only six-year old son, he is also our little baby boy.

What a fun little one we have in our home. We just love him a lot!!

Sometimes I think about Grandma and Grandpa Hoffman, my dad, Hazel, and my mom and Lin. I hope they are looking down on us and seeing a beautiful little boy and sending their love his way!! I am certain that if they were all here, they would love him with all their hearts!!

I Am Still Here--And Very Busy--Mr. Mom!!!

School is about to start--without me!!!! What a strange feeling!! I will be home much of the day--unless I find a new job somewhere. I am not going back into public education--finished with that. So what am I doing with myself?! Well--still doing IBI and PSR with kids--all adolescents right now. Last night we went to Back-to-School Night at Gabriel's new school. We met with his Sp. Ed. teacher, his kindergarten teacher, and the principal. I also found myself being impressed into PTO service by a mother I know (not Claudia, BTW). And guess what--Monday morning at 9 a.m. I will be Mr. Mom and attend the kindergarten orientation!!!

Also, I am trying to get a clear schedule set up for my PSR clients and IBI client. This is proving more difficult than ever before--I am not certain why. One of the problems is that I have a client who lives in a town about 1/2 hour away. We thought I would not be having any commuting like that anymore--how wrong we were!!!

The relationship between a client and a counselor are confidential and need to be very close--almost like being friends. In fact, I believe all three of my clients regard me as a kind of "cookie person". This is so even if I confront them with their challenges and insist they solve their problems themselves. This is so even when I appear to "side" with their parents.

I can only love my job!!

And all of this is keeping me incredibly more busy than I could ever imagine.

Retirement?! What's that?! I don't think I have found out what that is yet?! It must be happening in some location very remote from where I am.

Yes!!! I Knew We Could Find Some Cuts That Wouldn't Hurt Our Kids and Teachers Anymore!!!

Salary of retired US Presidents .............$180,000 FOR LIFE Salary of House/Senate .......................$174,00​0 FOR LIFE Salary of Speaker of the House ............$223,500 FOR LIFE Salary of Majority/Minority Leaders ...... $193,400 FOR LIFE Average Salary of a teacher ................ $40,065 ...Average Salary of Soldier DEPLOYED IN AFGHANISTAN $38,000 I think we found where the cuts should be made! If you agree... RE-POST