Gmail - Four Tips for Soothing Sibling Rivalry - ctigner1@gmail.com

Gmail - Four Tips for Soothing Sibling Rivalry - ctigner1@gmail.com:

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I received this article from Love and Logic.com

University of Utah and Google Team Up to Help Families with Children on the Autism Spectrum | University of Utah News

University of Utah and Google Team Up to Help Families with Children on the Autism Spectrum | University of Utah News:

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I have posted this link on all of my blog sites. This may be important information for those of you who have children who are aspergers or autistic and very intelligent in certain subjects or areas.

Progress or Not Progress? That Is Always the Question!

Gabriel is always a mystery to me. When he came to us, he could barely talk and didn't seem to understand what we were saying to him much of the time. Now he talks my ear off. When we first got him, he was so much more difficult than he now is to get to bed. Thankfully my cousin Becky was there for us, and thankfully both Claudia and I had been trained to work with, and had a few years of experience with disabled children.

An important thing about challenging children is that they tend to take the proverbial two steps forward and one step back. When he started school this past fall, we thought we mostly had him potty-trained. Recently he has shown us otherwise! Of course he is a lot farther along on this than he was when we got him.

I continually find myself reading various books related to Gabriel and the kids I work with professionally. At the moment I probably have at least 5 or 6 of these in progress. I often use them as references for specific situations, bibliotherapy, and activity ideas. Then there are times when I need a review - often a very fast review!! I simply cannot gain new knowledge as fast as I think I need it! He appears to always be ahead of me!!

One thing is certain, though. He has found his way into our hearts and Claudia and I both love him very much and treasure those moments of sweetness he brings into our lives.

We are so thankful for Gabriel!

Happy New Year!!!

This year has been eventful for me - too eventful. But at the end of 2011 I find myself still celebrating with friends and family. I am happy 2011 is over and have hopes that 2012 will be great. The late Elder Marvin J. Ashton of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints made a never-ending impression on me years ago when he recommended that we stop expecting things to improve when we get around the corner or get across the fence to greener pastures, but enjoy the life we have in this moment.

My wish for all of us is that we quit looking for tomorrow to have an improved day and be thankful for what we have. Life is so sweet when we do this.

Happy New Year, everyone!!!

Claudia, Gabriel, Clyde - Christmas 2010

Clyde 2011

Gabriel Fall 2011

Samuel, Carolyn, Stephen & Gabe, Clyde, Claudia 2011

Lilly 2011

First an update on our growing family. Clyde is now retired from public education. It was, says he, a good time to retire. Claudia and Clyde are both still working with developmentally and mentally disabled children. Claudia is about to finish off some education and use her professional degree for a professional position in the company we both work for. Stephen is still at home and mostly stays to himself downstairs in his basement bedroom. He has been promoted at work and, though the pay is not at a professional level, he is enjoying more freedom to help customers at the call center. He still loves video games, Japanese anime, and is still looking for a coding position that fits his CS credentials. Carolyn and Sam and their one-year-old, Lilly, live just down the street in an apartment complex. We see Carolyn much more often than we see Samuel. And sometimes we get to see our granddaughter. A new development is that Carolyn is now pregnant again. Gabriel, our little six-year-old is still full of energy and can be a lot of fun. We love him a lot and are thankful for his growth both physically, mentally, and emotionally.


Christmas is truly a wonderful holiday season!! I have always loved Christmas - the lights, the trees, the ornaments, the decorations, the music, and Santa Claus. Every Christmas I am excited about what gifts I can give to others. This is strange when I really stop to think about it. From the time I was small Christmas was always all the above and, most importantly, the gifts I was going to receive.

Why and how has the emphasis on what everyone is giving to me gone away?

I am not certain what the answer is to this question. There could be several fitting responses. One might be that I am too old to care about what anyone is giving me. Another might cite the fact that I already have so much stuff that I can hardly manage what I already have. How about the suggestion that I am so focused on helping others that I do not have time to worry about what I am getting? Or how about the guilt that I feel every time I look at Christmas as a time to get more of the stuff I want, knowing, to be sure, that Christmas is about Christ and not about me or my stuff?

One thing is certain, something has changed in my life. It has happened slowly and deliberately, without any doubt, guided by the Lord, Jesus Christ, whose sacred priesthood I hold, and whom I strive to serve by serving others each day of my life.

At this time of the year, we celebrate his birth approximately 2,000 years ago in a far away town known as Bethlehem, where Joseph and Mary had traveled to pay taxes to a foreign ruler named Caesar Augustus. As an aside I find it interesting that even in antiquity the certainties of life were already birth, death, and taxes. At the same time I marvel that such a seemingly insignificant and humble beginning of life eventually led to both Jewish and Roman trials and the Roman crucifixion of Jesus of Nazareth. Why crucify the son of a carpenter for preaching principals of love and forgiveness? How could this person be important enough to merit such attention?

Eventually, after his death, Christ's apostles and disciples began spreading the good news throughout the known world. There was much persecution, but Christianity even became the state religion of the Roman Empire in about 330 A.D. Now Christianity exists in almost every part of the known world. It is the dominant religious faith in the Americas, in Europe, and in most of the former Soviet Union.

Unfortunately, the word "faith" used in the above context, refers mainly to organized Christianity, and not to how faithful its members are. For in the past century many of the teachings of the Savior have been tossed aside in favor of other interests by the general population of supposed Christians. Teachings on chastity and morality are, in particular, under the most challenge at this time, and instead of love of their fellow beings, people are siding against each other viciously and hatred seems rampant.

And yet I am so thankful for all my family and friends whom I know have exercised great faith in the Savior in doing their best to live his commandments and bring peace and joy into the lives of others. This is what He wants us to do - serve each other. His laws are laws of love.

One cannot be a true Christian without loving and serving others generously. The Lord has given us all that we have in this mortal existence, and he has commanded us to love and share and serve one another. Unless we do this, we are not His disciples or followers.

In the past year I have been through some trials. My faith has been greatly tested. My devotion to principles taught by Jesus Christ has been demanded. I have faltered and have found myself returning to succeed - returning to my senses, so to speak.

Christmas is about love and service and caring. I am so thankful to understand the very essence of Christmas. And I will do my best to always keep Christmas all the year around.


Claudia and I wish all of you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!

Gabe's Newest

Gabe has been very busy with some activities over the past few months. He has done not only Field of Angels softball, but also Fall AYSO VIP Soccer, and now, Idaho Falls Wrestling Club. Field of Angels and Soccer are over and everyone at soccer told me he was a natural. Wrestling--well he likes to tackle dad and Stephen, but attend during wrestling practice? Way outa there!!! It is finally dawning on me that he will need more structure and support than wrestling currently offers, but I am hopeful we can give it to him and he can at least come to practices. He was ill for the first match last Saturday, so we didn't even sign him up. What does this week hold? Well, tomorrow is Halloween, and Buzz Lightyear is not quite ready to trick-or-treat. He is still sick and will probably not go to school tomorrow for the kindergarten Halloween program. Aw shucks!! Here are some photos I may not have shared before.

What a Sabbath Day!!

Today was our yearly children's sacrament meeting program, and what a day it was. The kids sang well and behaved amazingly well. Gabe--well, Gabe is Gabe. He was all over the place, but he was more manageable than usual. Another teacher took him over for me and was able to get some reasonably good behavior out of him. He said his part and climbed around the rostrum behind the bishopric during the program. He also sat on this elderly teacher's lap for quite awhile. We had several people spotting for us, but no one had full control of Gabe. He was his own little man!!

At times like this I am so very thankful for people who are so willing to assist. If we knew what to do to solve the problem, we would certainly do that. So far, even with consultation from his therapists and teachers at school and elsewhere, we just haven't solved the church problem.

After the main meeting, Gabe went to Primary class with the other children. He was worse than usual, however, for the rest of the meeting schedule.

He has become milder and more compliant lately, but has gone backward in some other areas.

And isn't that the way it always is?! A few steps forward and one or two backward.

I have felt so lost so many times, but I just keep working on new ways to help him calm himself. They didn't work today, but maybe next time.

What was it Churchill said? "Never give up! Never give up! Never give up!" Well, we don't ever give up on our son. We are thankful for him and the fun he brings into our family!!! I thank the Lord each day that we were able to bring Gabriel into our family before he got older.

Although I often find it saddening to think about how all this had to come about, I also think of the energy and sweetness he has brought into our world here. Not that Claudia and I have more energy because of him--far from it. It is more like the other way around--less energy to spare since he has come to live with us.

I often wonder what might happen one day after he grows to adulthood. What will he be like?

We hope for the best and pray. We pray as though everything depended upon the Lord. Then we go to work as if everything depended upon us.

And what does Gabriel do? He just goes right along doing his own stuff and learning how to be a better kids.

Academically, he takes after his mother. He just took the state reading test and got a 3 - higher than most kindergartners. I watched him work in class this past week, and was amazed at how engaged he was for the new student teacher. And his latest psych eval lasted a whole 3 hours total--a lot longer than the 20 minutes for his first such assessment--just over a year ago.

Sometimes I just want to take his pain away--Oh, how I feel pain over the challenges in his life!! Yet, I know that he will learn something from all of this--something that just could make him stronger and happier. For in the midst of all that we experience in this life, the only way we discover what makes us happy is by experiencing what is sad. If we never knew sadness, we could never know happiness.

My hopes are that Gabe will become happy because he has been sad--that he will learn to trust because he learned what it is like to not have anyone to trust--that he will learn to love more and more because he has somehow missed the love and nurture he has needed. If I have anything to do with the outcomes here, I will do my best to restore to Gabe as much of normalcy and nurturing as I can--as much of responsibility and success as I know how--as much forgiving as he needs to feel to forgive all others.