Gabe's and Stephen's Birthday--July 21

For Stephen's and Gabe's birthdays we had Papa Murphy's pizza, ice cream, frozen yogurt, and had Gabe blow out the six candles that were on this cake from Albertsons. We had a fun time and when it was bed time for Gabe, I decided to take this picture to remind me that a new wardrobe is now needed.

Just over two years ago he came to us with these pajamas. He just keeps growing--in many ways. He can also write his letters better, and now chatters at us constantly--actually making sense. Eye contact is rarely a problem. The close-up is by Gabe, as is the second to bottom photo of his sidewalk chalk writing. You can read the word "Dsney" or "Disney" and the words "Disney Home Video" (sic). His dog, Hairy ("Harrit" on his license) now has an outside safe place--a Dogloo.

Gabe seems happier and more content in our family now. Some challenges in behavior continue, but he is doing well.

Whose Family Did This One Come From?! Phew!!

Recently my cousin, Becky, went to visit her daughter, Rachel, who was working at a summer camp. Her comments were funny and true. Now she knew what to do when she visited her kids after they moved out of the house.

Says she:

"Rachel will be home in a few weeks, but visiting her room made me think of how I’ll behave when I visit my girls’ more permanent domiciles in years to come. Hmmmm – let’s see:

- I’m flipping off my shoes wherever I want. And leaving them there. In fact – I’ll step over them.

- Coasters? Tell me again – what are they?

- I’m coming into their rooms to “borrow” socks, shoes, pantyhose, jewelry - whatever isn’t nailed down.

- My dishes? Anywhere is fine. Especially on the “rinse” side of the sink. Just sitting there.

- If I see a full trashcan in the kitchen – I’m shoving my empty Sonic cup down into just as hard as I can.

- Every one of my hot showers is going to last at least 45 minutes. And require a quart of shampoo.

And finally…..

- If the home phone rings – I’m not answering. It’s not for me."

I remember our visits to our daughter while she lived on her own in Boise, Idaho, and our son while he was up at Rexburg going to BYU-Idaho. The mess I rather expected. It was the odors that invited me to leave as soon as I could!!!

I guess most of them have to seek their "freedom" from the "oppression" of being parented, and from household organization and chores. I didn't get much of a chance to do that. In the Army we had inspections and everyone else in the barracks did not like odors. When I returned from the Army and lived with my dad and his second wife, Hazel (this was after Mom divorced Dad), you better believe I kept my room neat!! Likewise, at college my roommates were mostly rather particular--as was I--about how clean our apartment was. I never had a chance!!! And after that it was ingrained--my poor roommates!!! Luckily Claudia can't stand any messes for very long at all.

We just hope our children eventually get the idea so we can enjoy visiting more--once Stephen is out on his own. He and Gabriel just had a birthday--July 21. Gabriel is now 6. Stephen (Failure to Launch) Tigner, on the other hand is now 32 and is still at home and working on getting a job in his professional area--computer science.

One thing about Idaho right now--as well as Nevada (huh?!)--lots of water around here. We hope it stays for awhile!!

Up Late Again...Ugh Will I Ever Be Happy?

Well, here I am up late again. It seems that each and every evening I try to do things I did not get done during the day.

I finished my paperwork for my job. But I wanted so much to get the lawn mowed and complete just a few things on my "to do" lists.

I have to remind myself that all the pressures are not what are important in this life.

My wife's sister and her husband used to live in a tract home. I remember their yard was always full of weeds. Her husband told me that the neighbors had complained angrily about the weeds in his yard. I could see that running their business and managing their household and raising their kids took up all of the time they had. It was no wonder they did not keep the weeds our of the grass!!

I always think about this whenever I start to feel the pressure of getting things done--like getting the weeds out of our lawn. I feel thankful I am able to do what I do!!

Lately I have had to examine my inner self and ask myself why I have not been happy. There are several reasons I can think of for this malaise. But one thing someone once said about happiness is that it is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it will elude you. But if you turn your attention to other things, it comes softly and sits on your shoulder.

Someone else said that the best way to forget your own problems is to help someone else solve theirs.

Put these two pieces of advice together and replace the word "things" with "people"--happiness is sure to come!!!

After all, as an ancient prophet once said, "When you are in the service of your fellow beings, you are only in the service of your God."

What better happiness is there than that of serving others?? I don't know of any.

Life Long Learning and Kids

In my years as a counselor I have received much information and experienced many epiphanies. The past few days I have been able to really apply some of what I have learned. This has benefited several individuals around me and I am so thankful for being able to do this.

I hope that in the next few days and weeks I will be able to set forth some extremely valuable principles of parenting and self management.

I hope some readers will be added and be able to see the value of what I present.

Thanks for reading!!